My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
