I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
