Will you blow on my dice?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
