Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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