I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
