Apparently you make a good broom.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
