what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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