Barsexuality is the new black.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
