I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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