She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
