i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
