You work out of a Hotel?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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