I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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