Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
