Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
