so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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