You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
