it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
