So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
