So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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