She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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