dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
