Who did Billy Mays play for?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
