Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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