Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
