I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
