just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
