Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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