accomplished twins. life is a go
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize