Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
