Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
