I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i out mim tonsoeep
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
