He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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