A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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