i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
