please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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