i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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