I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
