thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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