I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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