it's like iHOP with fire
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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