After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
