I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
