I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
