dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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