Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
