maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
