i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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