i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
