Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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