so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
