I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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