we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
