These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
