just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
