Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no, he came in my armpit
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
