Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
