its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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