So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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