Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize