Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She is in my trunk
I have demons in me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
