Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
