I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
