For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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