no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Randomize
