I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
