do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize