I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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