Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
