I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Welp...herpes.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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