o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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