omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
