I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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